"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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