god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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