so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize