Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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