1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
