The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
