I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
