so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
