she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
