When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
