I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
