Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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