$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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