I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
