it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
