No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
