Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
