Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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