im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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