She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I believe in your delicious
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
