My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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