I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
