I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
