If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
