my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
