I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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