How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We are two peas in an std pod
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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