Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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