if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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