Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
