I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
