Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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