you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize