She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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