rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She bit a glass in half.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
