I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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