they said they heard you say put it in my butt
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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