i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
