So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
