i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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