i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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