Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
