She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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