He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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