i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
