508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
