Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Four minutes until I can fart!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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