found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
