Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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