you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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