just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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