tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
