In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
