I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
