she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize