it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
FUCK WHALES
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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