Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
porn star boner night. come get it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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