not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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