My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
