I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
