Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
