garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize