my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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