This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Pants are for mortals
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
