Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
