So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
