It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
