Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
