grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We had sex on a dog bed..
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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