She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
