He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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