Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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